A cup of coffee for my head

What is it like to be stuck in the house with 8 active, inquisitive, and sometimes “annoying” children? I get asked that question often, and friends send me sympathy messages like, I am praying for you, or you are my hero… things the sort.

When I get those messages, what comes to mind is, my friend, you have no idea what you are talking about!

Here is the thing, do not get me wrong. All of us moms have challenges; as mothers of 1 or 10 children, each one of us could sit and tell an endless number of stories of how many challenges and joys we have daily in this process of quarantine. I am not trying to make it sound like my life is somehow more difficult than yours; comparing should never be something that mothers should do; we are to encourage each other in this crazy motherhood journey. My friends have taught me so much; they have one or two children. Having 8 children does not make me an expert at anything, but when I think, “ You have no idea what my life is like”, it is because 1 and 8 are pretty different numbers, which is the reality. I appreciate the prayers so much; thank you!

I have 4 stages of childhood around here. Two teens, two pre-teens, two getting there, and two on the pre-school age. The dynamics are intense, and sometimes I fail! Big-time fails.

I want to share an incident that happened last week; mind you, it has been over 5 weeks that we have been home on quarantine, my 8 children and me. By this stage, we are bored, frustrated, and tired.

It was Thursday evening, we had finished dinner, and the children were being loud; I had already asked them to start getting ready for bed; the teens had a screaming meltdown earlier that day, so by this stage, a lot of us were frustrated. So I started cleaning the kitchen when I heard the youngest crying and the others coming shouting: Mommy!! They hurt her, so and so did this and this…

It is tough to even begin to explain what this kind of scenario does to my brain; I had been hearing fights and crying the whole day, and by 7pm, when I heard crying and everyone shouting, I went a little crazy. I shouted louder! I took the children involved in the incident and screamed at them: I told you to stop; I asked you the entire day, why do you not listen to me? I am not going to share all that I said and how the whole situation for the 3 minutes it lasted, but my kids were shocked by my reaction, and so was I.

When things were quieter, and I got to tend to the hurt child and realised it was an accident, my friends, I was that thoughtless, first went to get the ones who hurt the little one instead of tending to the hurt child, who does that??? I did, a tired and overwhelmed mother! Things improved; I apologised, and we cried and prayed together, but even though all seemed ok, I went to bed with a heavy heart; I felt lonely and like a failure. I asked God to help me be a better mom and to protect my family and my mind so I can be the mother He wants me to be. I fell asleep after a good sob.

In the morning, I woke up tired, more tired than usual; it was like a tractor had gone through my body or that I was bitten up during the whole night, I had a shower, and it got worse, and my eyes were sore. Sarah, my baby number 5, told me to go back to bed, and she made breakfast for me; I said I did not need coffee; I like making my own as I can be fussy about my coffee. She made a beautiful omelette; I was so thankful and felt unworthy because of the previous night.

As soon as I finished my breakfast and was going to return to sleep (it was already 11am,) I got a message from one of the children’s teacher, who has become more of a friend since this quarantine started; she lives down the road from me, the message read: “Hey, are you home? I would like to bring something to you.” My first thought was that she had some school stuff, so I texted back and told her I was not feeling the best and was trying to rest. She replied, I am sorry you are feeling poorly l; II was making some Latte for myself and made one for you too, so I thought of dropping it off.

Now, pause and think of how I felt when I read that message…

Guys, Lattes are my favourite kind of coffee. I felt so blessed at that very moment. It was like God told me: “Yes, you blew up last night, but I still love you and care enough to even give you your favourite kind of coffee.” I am crying right now, even thinking of it; it seems silly. He does so many other massive things in my life, real miracles… but somehow, this little blessing made such a difference.
She dropped the coffee and a little note thanking me for all the work I do with the kids and saying that she could imagine how hard it must be for me to do this on my own.

More blessings happened that day; more friends were involved in being God’s hand in my life; I felt him saying:

No matter what happened yesterday or will happen tomorrow, my love for you will never change, and I care for you more than you can comprehend, and yes, I care that you get precisely what you wish for if that is exactly what you need even if it is just a cup of coffee.